Men Need Your Help, Ladies, Really!

woman praying

Society worships sex, and thus a litany of terrible temptations for the Christian male exists. That’s why, Christian ladies, your brothers need your help!


woman looking to the sky and praying

Men would lust if every last woman on the face of the earth suddenly disappeared. Or in other words, it is not the fault of women that men lust. It just isn’t. Lust is a heart [internal] problem…not a people [external] problem. Scripture clearly states this in Mark 7:21-23.

“For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

Notice anything about it being another person’s fault that men lust?

Still, this truth won’t stop me [on the behalf of all other Christian men] from asking (begging?) our sisters reading for help. Really, we men need your help! We [men] also need to help you, and do all we are able to encourage you in this world that manages to turn everything into a means to be sexually provocative, but that’s a topic for another article.

I’ll also be honest with you ladies on the behalf of all other Christian men. Ours is an uglyfrequent battle. Most men won’t admit it, let alone talk about it, but the majority of each year’s 365.5 twenty-four hour cycles finds us grappling with one sexual temptation after another. The examples are seemingly endless. There are the harassing memories we might have of prior encounters with pornography. The billboards on the way to school or work never fail to try to magnetize our eyes with provocative advertising and/or immoral suggestions. One or more women at our school or work wear tight-fitting and/or see-through clothing that leaves little to the imagination. Some of us pass businesses that exist to sell a sexual product or service. The magazines at the grocery store and shopping mall bear centerfolds of scantily-clad, sometimes partially-naked women. I also don’t think I need to state the obvious about how women often appear in public when it’s warm, whether purposefully or not. And I could devote an entire article series to the countless bombardments we men can face on suggestive broadcast TV, or some filthy facet of the internet. Sex, in every way that’s sinful, is everywhere! I further acknowledge that men don’t have to deal with all these things; some are a choice, but let’s not lose focus here.

Yet just to be blunt again, I’m not pointing any kind of finger at women, or especially our Christian sisters. I’m merely trying to shed light on a spiritual war that you probably don’t understand very well. In reality you may not ever because of the way God wired the two genders, but I think knowing this information is at least helpful. And the reason I’ve chosen to divulge it ladies is because we men need your help!!

Now I’m not about to propose that Christian women shoulder the burden of preventing their brothers from entertaining sinful lusts altogether. You shouldn’t, you can’t. It’s not your job; we must choose to be led by the Spirit in all purity. However, you truly may not realize what you’re able to contribute, the monumental spiritual support you’re able to provide to your brothers in Christ who want to practice daily purity in thought, word, and deed. Thus I’ve provided below a list of three courses of action you ought to consider so as to join us [men] in the fight for a pure heart before God, seeing as a pure heart is necessary in order to see God! (Matthew 5:8) And you read that correctly, three. I really think it can be boiled down to that number. This isn’t about a long list of rules; I’m after your heart, and so is the Lord.

  1. Make Jesus Christ your master!
  2. Your Lord Jesus Christ, being God, details how you must live and look better than any other person ever possibly could. The same goes for us guys. And so I encourage you to submit yourself to His lordship. It’s not about following popular opinion, or on-the-spot emotions, but your King! Only when you do that will you live and look how God really wants. Rules are not helpful, or even biblical, if your heart’s desire isn’t to please God ultimately. Your heart needs to be in lock-step with your Savior. Spend time with Him regularly, and you’ll know how to be a woman made in the image of God. We men must do the same. And of course this can be difficult to do on your own, hence the next point…

  3. Be teachable!
  4. God’s Word tells us to learn from one another. You see that all over Ephesians, and Paul’s other letters, as far as listening to the people our Father appointed to help us know how we might be more obedient to Jesus Christ. We all do the wrong thing every day, and need to be taught how to do otherwise. Thus I encourage you ladies to listen to your shepherds when it comes to being a woman made in God’s image in this world. And we men must be the same.

  5. Pray for us!
  6. If you ladies desire us men to be godly and effective leaders of the home, the church, etc, please pray that we would have victory over sexual sin! Anyone can pray for a burden, regardless of known details, and praying is the most powerful thing you can actually do. Your intercessions mean the world to us, and help us to fight to the glory of God, to the honoring of you [our sisters], and to the proper leading of God’s people. And again, we men must do the same as you fight sin.

Don’t be deceived; whether you’re married or not, you ladies can encourage us fellas and help ease the weariness of our war. Our fight is painfully difficult at times. Our society is highly-sexualized, and will only become more so. I offered examples earlier of what things look like currently. And to those of you ladies who do encourage us, we [men] simply haven’t figured out a non-awkward way of explicitly singing the kinds of praises you deserve to your very faces. We’d love to! Here’s one now; to those of you [ladies] who go out of your way to help us [fellas]: thank you! To those of you who don’t, please consider what’s been said here. This is a plea for your help. Please aid us men in the daily battle for purity! And I’ll end by repeating something I stated at the beginning one more time: it’s not women’s fault that men lust. Shame on any man who believes otherwise.

What say you, ladies? Have you ever considered how you can aid your brothers in this very difficult fight?

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Justin Joseph

Automation Developer at Innovis
Justin, test automation developer by day, self-training web developer by night, is a millennial disciple of Jesus Christ who seeks to challenge and encourage other millennial Christians through writing. Justin is also husband to Christine, and a member of Westerville Bible Church where he serves in the music and Sunday School ministries. You can learn more about Justin, the blog, and community, on the Millennials for Jesus Christ "About" page.
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4 thoughts on “Men Need Your Help, Ladies, Really!

  1. Justin, I really appreciate your conclusions. I have heard this cry often from my own husband, and I have explained to him how I believe it goes both ways (although I do understand that men tend to be much more… would “visual” and “physical” be good words?). We all, Christian brothers and sisters, need each other’s support in this warfare. Although we each must choose victory for ourselves, we are a team and we should act like one! 🙂

    Sure, as long as we are in this world, we will have temptation around us — but why should it come from our Christian family?

    It is so easy to get caught up in laying out this rule and that when we see others straying from Godly principle. However, you really hit the nail on the head with the three points you laid out. When the heart is right, the life naturally follows.

    I’m interested to read more of what you have to say, so… following. God bless.

    ~ Sheila 🙂

    P.S. After all these years, your blog title got me to look up the generation names, lol. Guess I’m just before you in Generation X. 😉

    1. Sheila,

      Thank you so much for your comments! And I think you may be a little “too” kind to say I “nailed it on the head” 😉 I’m really not that smart, but I appreciate your intent.

      Yeah, I think “visual” and “physical” are fine terms to use. Everyone is different of course, and I’m not going to pretend to be a scientist, but I would conclude that most, if not all men, are “V”/”P” 🙂

      I really like how you describe the body of Christ. We are indeed a team, and it’s sad that sometimes we don’t act accordingly. As James says, we can “devour one another”, and I would say not just with words even.

      Either way, I don’t care if you’re not technically a “millennial”. That’s not the point of this community, as you seem to have noticed. I’m delighted to have your attention. (Hope you don’t end up disappointed..) Welcome aboard!

      1. Thanks, Justin. Just wanted to say, we don’t have to be “smart” to allow the Spirit of God to speak through us! No excuses. 😉 At any rate, very good post. Good point about James, too. I had not thought of that one that way. Blessings, brother.

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